A Sad Ending

I always considered Sara a very good friend of mine.  "Kindred spirits"  is a good description of our friendship, which is odd because Sara was not the type of person I normally seek out for friendship.  I often wondered what had happened to her and with the miracle of the internet I found her the other day.  Sara died in 2006.

It was August of 1974.  I and three other friends were returning to BYU for our sophomore year.  As is the practice at BYU, six people (in this case girls) were put in one apartment.  Lori came from Montana and we were instant friends.  Then Sara came.  She was as a ghost coming and going, never really talking to anyone.  Then the second day we were there, Sara was unpacking her things and that's when I discovered her extensive album collection. We began to talk, Lori joined in and before we knew it we had listened to all of her Neil Diamond Albums.  After that day Lori and Sara and I were best of friends.

Sara didn't attend BYU.  She, instead, went to the nearby trade school.  Sara also had a car which meant I didn't have to walk to the grocery store, laundromat or the mall.   Sara was extremely talented.  I have never heard anyone play the piano like she could.  She would sit down and play Maple Leaf Rag (which was popular then because the movie The Sting had come out the year before) like she had been playing all her life.  She would also read all the time.  Not simple little novels, but big, hardbound classics that most of us would shy away from unless we had to read it for a class.

After awhile I began to notice that Sara seemed troubled.  She didn't open up much, so I never really knew what she was thinking.  I just knew she was often depressed.  She started missing classes.  Then one night she came home acting a little strange and smelling of alcohol.  This happened from time to time, but we mostly ignored it and went our own way.  In between these episodes we were best of friends and just goofed off and laughed as college age girls do.

For reasons I won't go into, I took a break from school that following semester and went back to Arizona.  Sara called me a couple of times and we just talked about anything and everything.  I returned to BYU again after the semester was over and Sara had moved to another apartment complex.  She called me one night and said she needed to talk to me.  She came over and we went for a ride.  I don't remember anything we talked about, but I do remember she had been drinking and I didn't realize it until I was in the car and we were driving somewhere in the mountains.  I arrived home safely and that was the last time I heard from her.

I saw on the internet that Sara had found love and contentment in another female.  It didn't shock me.  I don't judge her, she is my friend. I don't understand those type of relationships and I reserve my judgement until we know more about why people choose this lifestyle.  I learned the details about Sara's last days through writings by her partner.  I was sad that I had found her too late and could not drop her a line to let her know I had been thinking about her.  Her partner must have also been blessed by Sara's special spirit because a year and a day after Sara died, she ended her life.

I saw that Neil Diamond tickets are going on sale next week.  I'm thinking I'm going to buy some and reminisce while I listen to the music - for Sara.

An Arizona Thanksgiving

While most of the country endures cold and freezing weather this time of year, we, in Arizona, enjoy beautiful 70 degree weather.  It feels like the holidays to us because it's not 110 degrees outside - to us, it's cold.

With two of my children out of state, Thanksgiving was very quiet with just Cyndie, Tim and Seamus and Neal, Krista and Berkley.  It was nice and unrushed. 

Every year I use the pewter napkin rings Melissa gave me

One of the few times I get to use my China.  I still love this delicate pattern. (Noritake - Savannah)

I also used this tablecloth I got when we were in Greece.  There was this place in Greece where women embroider tablecloths and the market was outdoors and there were millions of tableloths to choose from.  I wanted more, but had to limit myself to two because they were VERY expensive.

Even though it was in the 70's, had to have a fire for ambiance

Berkley was going through the ads to get ready for black friday

Caught Krista in midbite.  Seamus looks bored wearing his helmet (he has to wear it for a few weeks because his head is a little misshapen.



Wake up, Gramdpa!

Let's go play outside!

It's Tough Being Educated in and Uneducated World

Don't crucify me yet.  I'm not so arrogant that I think because someone is not college educated or has held a professional position, that they are not "smart."

I had the opportunity to serve on a jury this last week.  I was the only so called "white collar" type of person, everyone else had held jobs that in our society are called "blue collar."  Nothing wrong with that.  Life presents us with many scenarios and we make our choices of how we will live our lives.

However, I do believe that if you have an advanced degree and have worked in the professional world for several years, some of your thinking and viewpoints are going to be a little different than those who have held "blue collar" type jobs.  I'm not even saying your viewpoint would be better, just different.

These differences tend to come out when the group is trying to come to an agreement.  I admire the way these people seem to function more on common sense than a lot of people.  I, having worked in a professional environment and know that people often craft their words carefully and can lead you with an impressive vocabulary.  Sometimes, it's hard to cut through the fluff.

Attorneys are masters at crafting the words that will persuade the jury one way or another. When all is said and done, the jury is left to sort out what is real, what is right, who is to blame, etc.  This is where every one's views, opinions, biases, etc. are revealed.  I'm just saying it's interesting.  I happened to be the lone hold out of putting more of the blame on the defendant.  After awhile, I felt it was futile to try and explain my viewpoint.  I'm OK with that.  Is it my education and experience that caused me to have a different opinion that he others?  I'm sure it had a lot to do with it.  Does it mean I was right and they were wrong?  Who knows? 

A day with Berkley

Neal was taking the CPA test and Krista had to work on this Saturday, so Grandpa and Grammy had a Berkley day.  I had not been sleeping for the past four nights, so I was exhausted.  We took her to SanTan Village to play in the play area, but as you can see, she was a little shy around the other kids..

She wanted to get in, but she was happy just to throw pennies in

She is a "lipgloss" girl

Let's play "What's in Grammy's bag (besides lipgloss)

We're not going to let go of that lipgloss, even to eat

Grandpa needs his lipgloss

Roanoke

I knew we would not be seeing the Laymons for the holidays this year, so last summer I promised Joshua I would fly out and take him trick-or-treating.  Gregg came with me and so did Cyndie, Seamus and Tim.  The Fall scenery was beautiful.  We just don't have the four seasons in Arizona.  We just have hot, very hot, and just right.  But, I like it that way because it helps my Ehlers Danlos pain.  Everytime I go visit Virginia when it's cold, I'm miserable and achey until I can get back where the sun can penetrate through to my muscles.  Melissa has a really hard time with it too, that's one reason they are trying to move back here.

This was Seamus's first trip, and it was a long one.  Four hours to fly into Raleigh (there are no direct flights into Roanoke) then a three hour drive to Melissa's house.  Seamus did really well, he's a real trooper.

Joshua was so excited to see us (he loves his grammy and grandpa so much).  Before this trip I had always felt it difficult to bond with Miriam because she was so young and always so busy, but we bonded this time.  She is a real girly girl - every morning she would bring my make up case to me so that I could put make up on her and do her hair.  Then I polished her fingernails and toenails.  She sat still the whole time - that is unusual for her.

Joshua was a Hamburger for Halloween. (Note the Halloween socks I'm wearing in
the background - Joshua bought those for me so my feet wouldn't get cold.

We had a Halloween party with the missionaries since they came for dinner.  Joshua picked out
the pinata.

Not sure if that plastic bat was going to do the trick, but it eventually worked.

We played pin the nose on the Jack-O-Lantern

And this is the end result of the game

Miriam was a ladybug, but she was a little grumpy until she caught onto what Halloween
was about, then she cheered up.

Seamus and Tim in Missy's front yard.

Went for a drive on the Blueridge Parkway

So much to see and so much to do

I was able to snap this picture of Miriam sitting for about 1/2 second.

Just try and make Miriam sit still!

She is exactly like her mother was at that age - always on the go.

Love this picture

This is my favorite.

Still working on the diet - 15 - 20 more pounds.

Joshua and Grandpa - note that Miriam is off and running.

Joshua is growing up so fast - he's quite articulate for a four year old.



I will miss not having them here for Christmas, but I guess they just bought tickets to come here in February, so I won't have to wait too long.

I Had to Leave Pain Management to get Pain Management

If you have Ehlers Danlos, you know that sometime the pain can be relentless.  That is what led me to see a pain specialist.  At first it was working out real nice.  He got the pain down to a tolerable level.  It was after that, that the trouble began.  Pain Management's theory is that if someone has chronic pain you put them on a long acting opiate and prescribe short acting opiate for break-through pain.  Sounds good in theory, but it doesn't work that way in real life.  They also like to put you on an antidepressant even though you're not depressed.  They claim it heps with pain - never did for me.  Anyway,  I was on the fentanyl patch for my long-acting opiate.  I had to go up to 100mcg/hr every three days before my pain came down - not gone.  So if I'm still having pain while on the fentanyl patch, what is break-through pain?  If break-through pain is constant, then it's not break-through pain.  To me it's undertreated pain. 

However,  I couldn't function on the patch, I was sleeping all the time.  The cymbalta also gave me weird side affects (weird dreams, brain zaps).  When I discussed this with the doctor he said he would not let me take a short acting opiate without a long acting one and that we will treat excessive pain with injections. (they don't help and they're very expensive)

I also very much disliked that I was made to come in every month and justify why I should continue to receive pain medication. (that's what it felt like).  Not to mention that they hold your prescriptions hostage until you give them a urine screen.  It felt very humiliating.  I understand the laws that these doctors operate under, but it doesn't mean I have to like it - or put up with it.  So I chose not to do it anymore.

I visited my primary care doctor who knows me and my family quite well.  I explained to him why I didn't want to go to pain management anymore - he understood.  I also wanted off the fentanyl and cymbalta.  We agreed to do a trial of Norco for daily pain and Soma for muscle spasms and he gave me a small prescription for percocet for out of control pain.  I have to say that I have never felt better.  I don't have the groggy feeling that came with the fentanyl.  I feel like I have more control over how I manage my pain.  And the best thing of all, he gives me refills so I don't have to go in every month.

This is working for now.  I know EDS changes over time, I may someday have to go back to pain management.  But for now, I love having more control in this area of my life.

Birthday, Birthday

Both Gregg and Berkley have birthdays in September.  Berklely turned two this year and Gregg turned - well - another year older.


With three sets of grandparents, there was no shortage of gifts

Seamus's first experience attending a birthday party

Goofing off.



Berkley couldn't wait to eat her cake.

Berkley and Dad, Neal, opening presents.

Then it was Gregg's turn on September 23rd:



Berkley was helping since she was experienced now in opening gifts.

Seamus was having fun as well.

I just took this picture before the party because when I bought the Lantana plants
they were all on one palate and were labled "yellow."  So, I now have one
orange lantana plant along the front walkway.  I hope the roots aren't too deep
so I can dig it up and put a yellow one there.